ADORBZ Friday

I'm a bit less postive (new word!) these days as my teaching partner is out for a month due to health issues (I miss her already) and I thus have a bit less time to jot down what these little things are saying. Today had a couple of good ones, though.

I was trying to teach our Writer's Workshop and the kids kept getting me off track by asking strange personal questions. We're working on historical fiction (yeah, great) and so they kept asking me if there was electricity when I was born . . .and then if Kentucky has electricity . . .and then when I came to this country . . .so it was all off-topic, but things I felt like I had to clear up. But I went on a tangent for a bit when I felt a tapping on my shoulder. Emily had gotten up, gone to our daily schedule chart, taken the "Writer's Workshop" card and walked it to me, pointing.

I got back on track.

Later, one kid was asking for hints on a name for his main character. After a few of my suggestions didn't work, sweet little Danelcy said a word I never expected to be so adorable: "Scumbag."

And in conclusion

Roland, today, showed me the conclusion for his book about MLK, Jr.

"But sadly Martin was shot. Well I hope you learned everything about Martin because I'm out of paper. Go outside and play, you need the fresh air. Trust me."

Race humor?

The class is working on writing non-fiction books with topics of their own choosing. Roland chose to write about Martin Luther King, Jr. Today they were writing introductions to the books. Most went pretty smoothly, if a bit bland.

That was not enough for Roland. "In this book you will learn facts about Martin Luther King, Jr. Where he lived, where he was born, what he did. All the facts are there in black and white. And Chinese and Mexican! Sorry, a little Martin Luther King humor!"

Got to hand it to him

Isaiah asked if I ever dream about him. "Only in my nightmares," I replied. He paused for a moment.

"While I was in your dreams, I saw your ex-girlfriend. She's not that hot."

Those Poor Dutchmen

We're discussing New Netherlands and I was explaining that the Dutch are from there. Moussa got concerned. "Mr. Rice, when I heard about the countries in Europe, they all sound fancy. Like, France . . .Paris . . .it's fancy. 'Netherlands' doesn't sound fancy, though."

Quick Hits

Two things I heard kids say today in my class.

"My umbrella smells like ham." --Doug

"Mathew, stop eating your clothes!" --Roland

Good Excuse

So my class has a minor obsession with my softball team. Recently, they've been asking if they can come see a game. They can't, because the season is over. "Well how about in May?" they asked.

"Well, the games are at night."

"You could make a special trip!"

"But I can't take you guys out at night."

"Have a game during the day!"

"Well, everyone has jobs they can't leave."

That stumped them for a while. Then Glenis thought of the obvious solution. "Pretend someone on the team died, so everyone can take a day off."

Marital Strife

Sheena raises her hand. I call on her. "Mr. Rice, rembember how Moussa broke my tape measure?"

"Yes," I say, seeing where this is going.

"Well, he still didn't give me a dollar."

I laughed.

"What?" Moussa butts in.

"That dollar you owe me!"

"You've got to give me some time!" Moussa protests, rather Han-Solo-ish if you ask me.

"It's been a month!" Sheena says in exasperation

Moo hoo ha ha ha ha ha

Ruby came up to me and shook my hand. "Good news, Mr. Rice. You're the bad guy and Ms. Vaughan is your Assistant Dracula."

Best job title ever.

For Old Time's Sake

I walked by the class where my former students are yesterday. They called me to come in and say hi . . .they had a sub that wasn't really containing them too well. After a short chat, Maylene says, "Mr. Rice, shush us!"

I paused for a moment and said, "Like, for old time's sake?"

"Yeah!" a bunch of them said.

So I did, but I couldn't keep a straight face. Miss those guys.

Remember Johanny?

Well she remembers me. She came to visit and next thing I know this was on my board.

Veritable Goldmine

While walking in line I stopped to pretend to choke Douglas. I like to keep them on their toes.

"That's why I have a hammer at home!" he says. "For drastic measures!" That was funny enough, but he went on. "If anyone attacks me, I'll just whack them off!"

She learns quickly

At the end of the last writing unit, Emily told me she'd write her next piece about me. So today they're gathering ideas for personal essays. I teased her about me not being in any of her ideas so far. She laughed and said, "Your Eggo."

"My ego?"

"Yes. Your ego!" She then laughed and started writing. When I came back around, one of her ideas was "Mr. Rice is annoying."

Delicious

Apparently this is the morning for treats for Mr. Rice. Roland approached me early this morning with a song and dance about how his sister is wanting to go to prom later this year, but it's expensive. So he's helping her by selling Rice Krispy Treats. It seems quasi-legal at best, but I love Rice Krispy treats so I'll allow it.

And Emily comes in and gives me and my partner each an apple. Old school, yo!

Ooooookay

So on our way down from class today on our way to dismissal, I caught Douglas with his index finger and thumb deep inside his mouth, like some sort of mind-controlling beetle from Star Trek. I thought maybe something was stuck or he might be choking. "What's going on, Douglas?" I asked.

"I'm just trying to touch my uvula."

He needs a top hat

Fernando was performing his duties as a closet monitor this morning. He was also using the long handle of a plastic broom to do things. He then leaned on the handle and said, "I'm a fancy dude," does a little dance and tips his head, "And I think I'll do it again."

A New Ladies Man Appears

So the kids finished their math test early and asked if they could make signs for my softball team. Sounded fun to me, so I agreed. The girls wanted to make signs for the female players, and the boys for the boys.

Except for Moussa. He mentioned one of the female players. "So, Mr. Rice, tell me. Does she look . . .nice?" I said yes. "How old is she." I told him she was in her thirties. "THIRTIES? AND SHE CAN STILL PLAY?!?"

"Hey, I'm 32!"

"I thought you were fifty!"

Later he came back to me and asked, "So who's the best looking girl on your team?" I told him they were all beautiful. "Well, do you have any . . .younger?"

"How young?"

"How about nine?"

"Definitely not, Moussa."

"Hm. Fifteen?"

"Still too young for my team."

"OK, fifteen to twenty-five?" That I said we had.

I like the way he thinks.

A Sweet Note

My allergies are acting up pretty terribly so I feel like crud today. But then I got a note from Amanda:

to: Mr. Rice
From Amanda!

Best teacher ever!
Feel Better
I love you like
brother [then crossed out]
Dad!

I rhyme the rhymes well

Moussa asked me if I had a rockstar name. "No," I replied. "But I have a rap name. Sensei Smooth."

So he made this for me.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ruby snuck up behind me while I was sitting and grabbed my face from behind. She then whispered in my ear, "I want your face. I'm going to rip your head off." She then proceded to return to her seat and finish her math work.