Elementary kids in Brooklyn say the dangedest things

Monday, November 30, 2009

Oh, dear

At the meeting area for reading today, Maylene asked if she could be my "scribe" (what we call the person who writes on the board for me . . .she's good at it and has better handwriting than me). I said, "Sorry, I don't need one today."

Before I could proceed with the lesson, Paola turned to Maylene and said, somewhat sympathetically, "Ohhh . . .he rejected you."

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

He has excellent taste, by the way

So we were having a pizza party in celebration of 100 books read so far this year. A colleague came by, and we offered her a slice. She didn't have time but we said we'd send a kid with one for her. Jeff says, "I'll do it!" loudly and then, to himself "cause she's HOT."

"What was that?" I asked.

"Uhhhh . . .I said . . .it was really cold in here . . ."

"I heard what you said, Jeff." Then I let him take it to her.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sneak Attack (+1d6)

So Savior walks up to me in the midst of writer's workshop. Eyes half-closed, he says in a thick vague accent. "Yoo have underrestimated me . . .and the element . . .of SUPRISE!" at which point he launches a green squishy squid toy into my stomach.

What the hell?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Movie Time

Yesterday during dismissal, I heard a pretty great conversation. Two of my boys, Christopher and David, were talking about a movie, Judd Apatow's Funny People.

"It was funny," Chris says.

"Well, yeah, it's CAWED 'Funny People,' wright?" David replies. He thinks for a minute. "Is theiw blood owr couwrsing?"

"There's no blood, but there's cursing. And . . .some other bad stuff." At this point it's just the three of us outside waiting for parents to pick them up. Chris is obviously more aware of me being near them but I'm trying not to seem like I'm listening. After all, this is a totally normal conversation for 5th grade boys, just not one most would have in front of a teacher.

"Sex?" David asks.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Chris glance at me nervously. He says nothing.

"Sex?" David repeats. "You know, naked people?"

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Classic Julio

Last year I had a kid named Julio. Smart, witty . . .all around great. And a total ladies' man. He was very aware of girls and wrote about his loves and crushes often. Reminded me of me at his age . . .except his were requited loves, heh. Anyway, one day a rather attractive female colleague stopped in to chat with me while they were doing independent work. We talk for a while, laugh, and she leaves. Julio's staring me down as I walk back in. He gives me a bit grin and two thumbs up.

From then on he always made a point to notice when I talked to pretty girls. I miss him.

Monday, November 2, 2009

They know me all too well

Some days I bring some kids up to eat lunch with me . . .it's good to get to know them as people. We talk like adults, just asking about each other's weekends and such. They asked about my lunch, which was clearly not from a place near here.

"Well, it's a funny story," I said. "I was walking down the street--"

Kevin interrupted, "And you got eaten by a shark."

" . . .no. But I had had a big brunch and--"

Amaris' turn. "If this has something to do with a bathroom, I don't want to hear about it."

Of course it did . . .

New vocabulary

I can't put this down to just one instance, but my kids have been using a new word. I feel old, cause I don't know if it's a reference to a video game or music or what, but the word is "brawlic." It is used to describe a big, tough, muscular dude (or girl I guess). I'm not sure how I feel about it . . .on the one hand, that's pretty specific and descriptive and I like making up words. On the other . . .I dunno, I'm just getting old.

A little early for that

My partner was reading the kids a book about kids in the old west, focusing on a chapter on what they did on their off hours. We were filling out a graphic organizer with facts from the book like "chilling out in the shade" and "telling stories." Savior raises his hand.

"Wait, wait, wait . . .and ALSO . . .they . . .drank egg nog!"

"Uhhh . . .that wasn't in the book," my partner says.

"I'm just assuming."