Elementary kids in Brooklyn say the dangedest things

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Those Poor Dutchmen

We're discussing New Netherlands and I was explaining that the Dutch are from there. Moussa got concerned. "Mr. Rice, when I heard about the countries in Europe, they all sound fancy. Like, France . . .Paris . . .it's fancy. 'Netherlands' doesn't sound fancy, though."

Monday, November 22, 2010

Quick Hits

Two things I heard kids say today in my class.

"My umbrella smells like ham." --Doug

"Mathew, stop eating your clothes!" --Roland

Friday, November 19, 2010

Good Excuse

So my class has a minor obsession with my softball team. Recently, they've been asking if they can come see a game. They can't, because the season is over. "Well how about in May?" they asked.

"Well, the games are at night."

"You could make a special trip!"

"But I can't take you guys out at night."

"Have a game during the day!"

"Well, everyone has jobs they can't leave."

That stumped them for a while. Then Glenis thought of the obvious solution. "Pretend someone on the team died, so everyone can take a day off."

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Marital Strife

Sheena raises her hand. I call on her. "Mr. Rice, rembember how Moussa broke my tape measure?"

"Yes," I say, seeing where this is going.

"Well, he still didn't give me a dollar."

I laughed.

"What?" Moussa butts in.

"That dollar you owe me!"

"You've got to give me some time!" Moussa protests, rather Han-Solo-ish if you ask me.

"It's been a month!" Sheena says in exasperation

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Moo hoo ha ha ha ha ha

Ruby came up to me and shook my hand. "Good news, Mr. Rice. You're the bad guy and Ms. Vaughan is your Assistant Dracula."

Best job title ever.